By Thomas Swick
swickt@bellsouth.net
Sure, players train rigorously before a Grand Slam tournament, but so do writers. All summer I’ve been working on my gamesmanship for the coming two weeks of grueling press conferences at the US Open.
Before asking Novak Djokovic a question I’m going to tap my pen against my notebook 10, maybe 15 times.
For all of Rafael Nadal’s press conferences I’m going to make sure that I’m holding my notebook in the exact same position.
I’m going to try to come up with a really stupid question for Andrea Petkovic and then, as she stares at me, I’m going to slap my thigh in self-disgust.
For John Isner I’ve got the longest question in tennis history.
I don’t care who’s sitting at the microphone, after every question I’m going to ask for the towel.
With Caroline Wozniacki, I’m going to tell her to think of a question she’d like me to ask her and then I’ll give her the answer she’d most likely come up with.
No fist pumping, no unnecessary expenditure of energy, after I ask Serena Williams a question. (Especially if I just tweet it to her.)
For Andy Roddick, a simple tug of my shirt at the shoulder before launching into my inquiry.
My question to Andy Murray is going to start out looking like a standard question and then, taking him as well as my colleagues by surprise, it’s going to stop short.
When I think a player’s response goes on too long, or misses the point, I’m going to request a challenge.
Before asking Marion Bartoli a question I will mouth the words to myself a few times.
All answers from Roger Federer, Stanislas Wawrinka and Richard Gasquet will be recorded by holding my pen and balancing my notebook with one hand.
I may ask Sam Querrey a question, or I may just sit back and chill.
Addressing Maria Sharapova I’m going to stand up and, as soon as she’s finished giving her answer, I’m going to turn my back to her and, staring down at my notebook, pretend to readjust the rings.